“Rise of the Planet of the Apes” (PG-13)
A new generation of kids are going to the movies - time for those dirty stinking apes to appear on theater screens again.
This version stands on its own. You don’t have to know anything about the other six “Plant of the Apes” movies that have rolled out since the original in 1968. In this version a genetic engineer has an experiment go horrible wrong and decides to bring home a genetically engineered chimp from the chaos at the lab. The chimp’s name is Caesar and his destiny is to lead all apes to freedom.
Unfortunately, before that can happen we have to spend a hour or so with a pretty shallow bunch of humans. The cops in this film are pretty much of the Keystone variety as well.
The effects are well done. The apes are not totally Discovery Channel lifelike, but most scenes are close enough to keep you from thinking about it much. The pacing is just quick enough that you won’t get bored, but there’s less action that you will expect going in.
With the dose of serum running through his veins, Caesar’s brain develops like an Einstein chimp. It doesn’t stop with him - the problem spreads to other apes. But the bigger problem here is that the movie Apes suffer from the same silly Hollywood physics nonsense of the Spider Man movies. Just because you are given special enhanced qualities does not make your flesh and bones suddenly able to survive falls from three story buildings or enable your body to survive a leap though solid walls and laminated glass windows. Superman was from another planet and the Terminator was a machine - these Einstein apes are still bound by Earthly laws of flesh and bones physics. But you’d never know it from their Superman (or impossibly cartoonish) death defying antics.
But the kids won’t question any of it, and I expect this franchise to thrive for another film or two - one of which will no doubt be in 3D and totally suck.
When the movie ends you may say to yourself that the Apes have only taken San Francisco. Surely they would be defeated as soon as the US Army rolled in. Stay seated when the credits roll and you see the bigger picture of what happens next. This leads us to the inevitable sequels to come.
- Wait For DVD
“Cowboys & Aliens” (PG-23)
{Top photo shows a typical dirty soul in a dusty Western mining town in the 1800’s. Bottom photo shows eye candy actress plopped into various scenes after shower, hair and make-up session.}
It’s a bit more cowboys than aliens, but it still makes for an enjoyable summer movie with a fresh premise.
Daniel Craig is perfectly cast as the bad-ass (think Clint Eastwood) who arrives into a post gold rush town in 1875. Colonel Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford) runs the town with an iron fist of fear. Seems he has all the cattle in his possession which makes him the richest dude around. Dolarhyde’s loser son rolls into town to cause a ruckus and that’s when “the stranger” (Craig) shows the town what he’s all about.
But the problem is that this stranger doesn’t really know who he is or how he got to “them there parts.” And he has this strange metal bracelet locked on his left wrist that only people in “our parts” would recognize as an alien device of some sort.
The set piece story is purposely dark as this is a dying town in the middle of nowhere, the stranger has been roughed up enough to require stitches, the Dolarhyde’s are mean-spirited, which makes the townspeople weary. And that’s before the aliens show up and put a hurtin’ on the local non-deserving townsfolk. So this film was in desperate need of eye candy.
Cue Olivia Wilde who plays one of the townswomen who takes up an interest in this newcomer when he enters the town bar. She’s not drinking (patron), not serving drinks (waitress) and not sweeping floors so he immediately assumes she’s working for the bar as a prostitute. But she’s not a harlot and no one in town seems to take notice of her in this dead, boring gold town. Unlikely as hell, and she’s horribly out of place in this 1800’s period piece. But thank goodness she’s there, as she’s the only onscreen ray of sunshine in this otherwise dark, ominous film.
This is a period in history where the Indians were bad guys as well. But we all know that once invaders from another world come to earth, everyone has to join forces against the foes.
I’m not sure the reaction of the early settlers were very realistic when they see their first flying machines in the sky. And when the machines fire upon them, the townsfolk seem even less horrified than people would be in today’s world.
But that’s Hollywood.
It’s worth a trip to the theater, but will make a great rental as well.
- See it on "The Big Screen"
“Super 8” PG-13
The photo above shows a group of talented child actors in the film “Super 8.” Elle Fanning has an edge with a sister named Dakota Fanning, but they are all surprisingly good in this Sci-Fi thriller.
The group sets out to shoot a low budget Super 8 home movie back in the 1970’s when a lot of families had such Kodak film cameras. In those early days, video cameras were only used by TV networks. After midnight they set out to film a scene for their zombie movie by the local train station. As fate would have it they witness a horrific train crash.
The reason for the train derailment defies all logic as well as basic physics (people from the midwest who know all about long 80+ car freight trains and accidents will laugh) but once the chain of events gets the train off the tracks, it’s a hell of a catastrophic ride of worst case scenario derailments. The theater rumbles like a 70’s rock concert and the visuals are quite stunning.
The toppled over Super 8 camera the kids were using continues to film and records the event. Only after watching the developed movie film do they see there is more to the accident than a simple train crash.
You’re not supposed to know anything more than what I have covered, so I’ll end the description there. It’s a thrill movie where the kids drive the story, much like Spielberg’s kid driven films, and it’s well worth a view.
As the credits roll, stay seated. This is one film where the movie continues by showing us the completed Super 8 zombie movie that the kids shot. Those that immediately get up to leave the theater will then stand in the aisles for a few extra minutes as they watch the ending.
Note on JJ Abrams - the director.
It seems we’ll always be able to tell when a movie was directed by newcomer Abrams. He loves lens glare.
From the earliest days of moviemaking, nighttime shots of oncoming car headlights reveal a double glare that looks like four headlights moving across the frame as the car approaches. If you’ve ever noticed it you know that as the years go by directors have shot at angles that minimize this unwanted side effect.
But not Abrams. He embraces it.
As I mentioned with his 2009 “Star Trek” movie (see my earlier review of that film) Abrams seems to like shiny objects reflecting off the lens of his camera. This is especially true in the first quarter of “Super 8” and with the ending shot. Spielberg produced this film and one would think that “the pro’ would take the new director aside and give him a few pointers.
- See it on "The Big Screen"
“Unknown” (PG-13)
Let’s cut right to the chase - If you think this is a follow up to Liam Neeson’s breakout hard-guy hit “Taken” you’re in for for a real let down.
The photo above was carefully chosen so as not to ruin the movie. The film is overly complex and figuring out the answers before finishing the movie would be impossible without first examining the film’s large array of photos and behind the scenes clips before seeing the film.
Liam Neeson plays Dr. Martin Harris, a bioengineer who arrives with his loving wife in Berlin for a week-long world conference full of scientific movers and shakers. But his briefcase doesn’t make it into their airport cab to the hotel, so he grabs another cab back to the airport to retrieve it. Before he can get there his cab suffers a horrific crash. He’s saved but hospitalized in a coma for a few days.
The bump on his head brings on a type of very selective amnesia that only exists in Hollywood script medical books. He can remember everyone’s telephone number but not who he really is? That’s the major puzzle the viewer and Martin Harris has to deal with. But without such maladies we’d miss out on some really good movies.
The sudden most frustrating part of his life is that no one seems to recognize him anymore. The most baffling part is that his wife no longer recognizes him either. How is that possible in a non sci-fi movie?
The major problem with the film is that it sags deeply in the middle (picture a hammock) with a plot seemingly so unsolvable that everyone gives up guessing and wonders where this thing is going? The scenes mirror a Bond film in their outrageous suspension of belief. Everyone in the film has the uncanny ability to drive like a Formula One racer, and the cars seem to rebuild themselves after every impact.
Diane Kruger won’t get the credit she deserves in saving the film during the sagging middle. She plays the Berlin local who helps Dr. Harris solve his impossible problem. Her scenes are strong and could prove that Liam Neeson can’t carry a film single-handedly in a way that someone like Schwarzenegger or Tom Hanks can.
The final revelation does bring the entire premise into reality, which seems impossible during the film. But this movie will be best when rented, where you can hit Pause at the sagging middle to fix yourself a sandwich before continuing the ride.
- Wait For DVD
“Paranormal Activity 2” (R)
The first one was much better.
No one knew what to expect when the first of this series hit the movie screens in 2007. The original was shot in one week on a budget of $11,000 and turned out to be one of the creepiest movies ever made. You would think a boatload of cash and Hollywood backing would produce an even creepier sequel. The sequel isn’t awful, it’s just not as effective as the original.
It seems the script was so short on storyline and scary events that the film makers decided (or were told) to pad the movie so they could end up with the bare minimum Hollywood release length of an hour and a half. The padding they employ here is boring live feeds from scores of hidden cameras that were installed by the family after a strange break-in involving a lot of overturned furniture but no theft. So we are left sitting in a darkened movie theater gazing at long repetitive footage of the backyard pool in the middle of the night as a recorder time code ticks off the hour and seconds on the lower right corner of the screen. We get scenes of the empty kitchen at midnight, or the nursery as the baby sleeps. Sure, we get it - police surveillance involves days of boring observation followed by the occasional rush of the chase. But we movie goers pay money to see more of the chase and less of the surveillance.
Those that saw the original know there will be on-screen events coming that will make the film worth the painful, monotonous build up. Whether or not the payoff is worth the one hour wait will be up to the individual viewer.
The film stars no one, and is well acted overall. But it’s so slow moving that your mind may wander enough that you find yourself nitpicking the film with your free time. Some of my observations:
Anyone who is familiar with dogs knows that when their owners return home, the dog becomes absolutely giddy with excitement, uncontrollably waging their tail and jumping like they haven’t seen a human in six months. And that happens if you just forgot you car keys and have been out of the house for only 60 seconds. No such reaction here by their loyal German Shepherd. A police investigator's first question to this family would likely be, “Is this really your dog, or did you just find him?” It's all too obvious that this Hollywood actor film dog has no connection with this family whatsoever.
So as a casual viewer you find yourself examining each scene to locate the dog's trainer off camera signaling what to do.
Lastly, more than any other other scary movie I can think of, if you ever find yourself in a kitchen where suddenly every cabinet door and drawer violently bursts open all at once with a loud explosion as if a 747 just hit the house - whether or not a jet just hit the house - the last thought in your mind would be to stick around.
Note: Just as with the original film, at the end of the movie the screen stays black for a long, long time, giving the audience a cue that there is more footage coming. It’s a fake tease as only credits await those that sit patiently in the dark. So look for the nearest exit and stumble your way out of the theater immediately.
- Wait For HBO
“Easy A” (PG-13)
It takes a lot of guts to release a movie like this and even more guts to play the lead actress in this role.
Emma Stone plays Olive Penderghast, a nobody in high school who suddenly becomes the talk of the entire school when a simple false rumor takes on Tweet and Facebook legs. She soon pretends to be the high school harlot to help select geeky boys boost their reputations all the while getting paid for it and “noticed” for the first time in her life. In the wrong hands this film would have wound up like the other 63 dreadful high school movies that are impossible to sit through.
What we have here is one terrific film.
There are a lot of stars here, and cameos by even more familiar faces, but they all are secondary to Emma Stone who is on camera for nearly the full 90 minutes. I’d never seen her in anything else so I had no preconceptions. Much like Tom Hanks, somehow she manages to hold the attention of the audience by simply taking us through her daily routine. The writing is smart in a “Juno” meets “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” kind of way, but the writing here ups the ante even further into MIT professor levels. Even highbrow comedian Dennis Miller would be impressed. There are so many zingers you’ll need to pay close attention to catch them all, especially if the audience is laughing out loud.
The subject matter is edgy with frank sex talk and religious smearing. However, it is dealt with in such a light and smart manner by the actors that only the most sensitive people in the audience would truly be offended. Thin-skinned religious folks with no sense of humor should probably skip it.
For the rest of us, it’s a must see.
- See it on "The Big Screen"
“Let Me In” (R)
If you recently made friends with a vampire, would you dare let them affectionately kiss you on the neck?
That’s the kind of questions that pop into your head when you see the the latest American vampire movie called, “Let Me In.”
I reviewed the Swedish version of this film back in 2008 (see review on page #3) and won’t rehash it here as it’s the same movie with different actors. But for those that didn’t go to an inner city art house to see the foreign original subtitled film, “Let The Right One In,” now is you chance to see the English remake at your local theater. Furthermore, the remake doesn’t suck (no pun intended).
It’s unfortunate that people have to spend years casting, directing and editing to make the exact same movie over again all because of a language barrier. Seems like a waste of collaborative effort, but it happens. Here we get the rare treat where both the foreign original and U.S. remake are worth seeing. Two other successful foreign remakes from the past come immediately to mind: “The Ring” starring Naomi Watts (based on “Ringu” from Japan) and “Point of No Return” starring Bridget Fonda (based on the French film “La Femme Nikita”). The foreign versions tend to be grittier but all the above films are worth seeing.
The original “Let The Right One In” was more of a psychological thriller than a horror movie. The remake retains the original screenplay and slow pacing but adds gore which pushes it a bit more into the horror category. Still, it’s the psychological tension between the characters that drives the film forward. Because the movie follows the original film very closely you gain nothing by seeing both versions. Both films are well acted by actors you’ve never heard of. If you want to know which version you should see, here are the minor differences, other than the obvious subtitle use:
The Swedish version is a bit darker and the ending less bloody but more graphic than the U.S. version.
The U.S. version keeps the camera running longer for the few scenes of death with buckets of flowing blood, but also has some added CGI effects used on the vampire girl that are a little hokey as if the budget was really low.
It's a toss up but both are well worth renting.
- Wait For DVD
“Alice in Wonderland” (PG)
The always quirky Johnny Depp plays the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton’s all new version of the classic story, “Alice in Wonderland.” It’s not the book version, so other than the familiar characters that show up, don’t bother comparing one story to another.
But it works. The ½ animated, ½ live story is engaging and the acting is top notch - with the exception of Anne Hathaway playing the White Queen. Her scenes never quite work, but that’s a small quibble with the film.
Now, about the 3D visuals. James Cameron intended “Avatar” to be 3D from the start. Burton’s film was digitally turned into a 3D film - post production - to ride the 3D coattails of “Avatar.” It shows. The visual 3D experience of “Alice in Wonderland” is exactly the same as the 3D movies of 1988. Not awful, but not great either. Kind of like theme park video quality. Certainly not worth paying $13.25 a ticket.
Which brings me to the lowest point. To add insult to injury, the Cinemark theater chain tries to get everyone to recycle their 3D glasses into a cardboard recycle box as they exit the theater. Wait a minute, you charged each of us $13.25 for a movie ticket with a pair of 3D glasses! I paid for the glasses, and I’d rather break them in half and toss them into the trash rather than to give you a chance to resell them again. If you want them back, Cinemark, stop charging us $3 extra for them at the gate. What a scam this whole 3D scheme is.
It won’t last.
- Wait For DVD
“Crazy Heart” (R)
Country music singer Bad Blake (Jeff Bridges) is down on his luck and struggling to get by as he tours the bowling alleys of the South. His apprentice, Tommy Sweet (Colin Farrell) has hit the big time, which only adds to Blake’s anguish as he continues playing the dives. Musicians in the audience will sympathize with the difference between the line of luxury tour busses the famous travel in, and the run down vehicles used by the struggling artists.
Blake has a running gig in Houston (when not on the road) at a bar that’s run by friend Wayne Kramer (Robert Duvall). Some good banter there, as Bridges and Duvall are some of the best actors working today.
Maggie Gyllenhaal stars as Jean, a local reporter who gets romantically involved with Blake. She’s a divorcee with a young boy, so when Blake shows an immediate affinity to her son, the bond between the three grows quickly.
Bridges delivers great witty lines, and the sound check scene at the outdoor amphitheater will bring a wide grin to any musician who has ever taken a stage in real life. But if you’re looking for a feel-good movie, “this ain’t it,” as a country boy would say. “The Fabulous Baker Boys,” staring Bridges and Michelle Pfeiffer, was no feel good movie either, but it was an intriguing, throughly enjoyable road film and a much better choice overall if you’re looking for a “musician’s life on the road,” love story, genre movie. “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” starring Sissy Spacek and Tommy Lee Jones would be a better choice as well. Hell, even “Selena,” starring Jennifer Lopez is a better road/love story choice, and everyone knows she dies in the end! So does Janis Joplin (Bette Midler) in the road/love story film, “The Rose.”
All better films.
Since “Crazy Heart” is a country music movie, it tends to follow the stereotypical storyline of:
I need cigarette
My dog died
My (3rd) wife left me
Give me another cigarette
The dishes are dirty
I lost touch with my son
I’m out of money
I drink too much
Truck won’t start
Time for another cigarette
The star power is certainly here in spades, and no one will want to walk out of the theater. Nevertheless, what we were all hoping for was that uplifting moment that Hollywood is so famous for. The credits finished. Still waiting.
The movie’s just not strong enough, nor does it have a killer song that would allow it to survive without a big uplifting moment.
- Wait For HBO