“Crazy Heart” (R)
Country music singer Bad Blake (Jeff Bridges) is down on his luck and struggling to get by as he tours the bowling alleys of the South. His apprentice, Tommy Sweet (Colin Farrell) has hit the big time, which only adds to Blake’s anguish as he continues playing the dives. Musicians in the audience will sympathize with the difference between the line of luxury tour busses the famous travel in, and the run down vehicles used by the struggling artists.
Blake has a running gig in Houston (when not on the road) at a bar that’s run by friend Wayne Kramer (Robert Duvall). Some good banter there, as Bridges and Duvall are some of the best actors working today.
Maggie Gyllenhaal stars as Jean, a local reporter who gets romantically involved with Blake. She’s a divorcee with a young boy, so when Blake shows an immediate affinity to her son, the bond between the three grows quickly.
Bridges delivers great witty lines, and the sound check scene at the outdoor amphitheater will bring a wide grin to any musician who has ever taken a stage in real life. But if your’e looking for a feel-good movie, “this ain’t it,” as any country boy would say. “The Fabulous Baker Boys,” staring Bridges and Michelle Pfeiffer, was no feel good movie either, but it was an intriguing, throughly enjoyable road film and a much better choice overall if you’re looking for a “musician’s life on the road,” love story, genre movie. “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” starring Sissy Spacek and Tommy Lee Jones would be a better choice as well. Hell, even “Selena,” starring Jennifer Lopez is a better road/love story choice, and everyone knows she dies in the end! So does Janis Joplin (Bette Midler) in the road/love story film, “The Rose.”
All better films.
Since “Crazy Heart” is a country music movie, it tends to follow the stereotypical storyline of:
I need cigarette
My dog died
My (3rd) wife left me
Give me another cigarette
The dishes are dirty
I lost touch with my son
I’m out of money
I drink too much
Truck won’t start
Time for another cigarette
The star power is certainly here in spades, and no one will want to walk out of the theater. Nevertheless, what we were all hoping for was that uplifting moment that Hollywood is so famous for. The credits finished. Still waiting.
The movie’s just not strong enough, nor does it have a killer song that would allow it to survive without a big uplifting moment.
- Wait For HBO
“The Crazies ” (R)
The pitchfork scene (see movie poster above) is genius horror moviemaking.
If you like zombie moves, where normal people suddenly become afflicted with the urge to lose control of themselves and become rabid killers, then this move is for you. Too many other write-ups on this film explain in advance why the people in this story become zombies. And that’s too bad, because half the fun of these things is trying to figure it out during the movie.
Here, the small town sheriff (well played by Timothy Olyphant) and his deputy have to figure out why their townsfolk suddenly go nuts and kill their neighbors and families. It all starts with the first zombie, a local man walking onto the field during a little league baseball game. He carries a shotgun and has a menacing look on his face. The showdown between the zombie and the sheriff, in front of all the children and their families, makes for some anxious moments. Even when in a jail cell, these zombies are no nonsense, and not to be fooled with.
Unlike others in this genre, these zombies don’t limp as if back from the dead, nor do they run after their victims like greyhounds. They simply possess the stare of a great white shark and will patiently stand in the house or the local diner until you walk in. Eerie.
It’s a tense movie throughout and offers plenty of disturbing images, including a nighttime monster farm equipment scene (filmed in an “ET” Spielberg kind of fashion), a claustrophobic carwash adventure, and the aforementioned disturbing, but quite effective pitchfork scene. It’s always bad news when a zombie gets hold of a pitchfork, but even when you figure out in advance how the scene will end, the director definitely kicks it up one horrifying notch and milks it for all it’s worth.
Good stuff. You already know if this film is for you or not.
- See it on "The Big Screen"
“Avatar” - In 3D (PG-13)
James Cameron returns to directing for the first time since “Titanic,” and brings us an uplifting story (unless you are an enlisted Army/Marine guy) for young and old alike.
Here a wheelchair bound ex-Marine, Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) is called back into service in order to run the Avatar body that once belonged to his now deceased brother. (It’s a DNA thing - that will save the time and money it would take to grow and program a new Avatar.) Grace Augustine (Sigourney Weaver) is the scientist that runs the Avatar program. There is a very expensive/valuable rock called unobtainium (the most lame word to come out of this film), that lies beneath the surface of the planet Pandora. We need lots of that material in order to save the dying, resource challenged Earth.
But there is an indigenous group of bow and arrow equipped native people living on Pandora, and in particular, on the very ground with the most dense amount of unobta . . . I can’t use that silly word again . . . where most of the valuable ore is located. The American humans have tried for years to “educate” and explain to the local aliens why they need to relocate, but to no avail. So the U.S. military is called in to forcefully move or otherwise destroy the locals in order to get the precious mineral to save Earth.
If you’ve even glanced at any description of this movie over the last few months, or have seen a trailer, you can figure out the paint by numbers Hollywood plot of this 2 1/2 hour film. Take the knowledge you have from the other 1,200+ movies you’ve seen in your life, and you’ll experience no surprises here. That doesn’t make it a bad film. Paint by numbers = feel good audiences and lots of money for Hollywood.
Jake Sully finds himself, in Avatar form, suddenly stranded in this strange world called Pandora, where he must learn everything from scratch in order to survive the ordeal. When any strange fact is revealed to us about this odd world, we are sure to see that tidbit come around again to help the plot to its solution. He is aided by a local female alien, and as we’ve seen many, many times before, he falls in love with the girl from the wrong side of the tracks. Suddenly he sees the world from her prospective and switches sides.
It is an interesting time in history to release a film with this subject matter. Do you root for the alien tribes against the big bad U.S. Military? Do you root for the tribe, which in turn means the destruction of our planet Earth?
We take sides all the time. We root for the rebels when the big bad guy is Darth Vader in Star Wars. What if Darth Vader represented the U.S. Marines. Then what? We root FOR him and the destruction of the rebels and their collective planets? Perspective is a funny thing.
The all too obvious parallels with the U.S. Military and its ongoing wars, overuse of Earth’s natural resources, the plight of the American Indians, etc. etc. will leave some shaking their heads and others nodding theirs during the movie. Still others will simply watch the show and munch on some popcorn. It’s up to the viewer whether to take this as more than just a movie. But as I sat there I noticed a strange urge from the people around me to clap/not clap/stop clapping when a military airship full of American soldiers went down in flames. The worldwide brainwashing (regardless of country) of all populations that “Our soldier are great, and should be supported, always, without fault,” has certainly taken hold. I would imagine the applause to be quite loud and sustained in movie theaters outside the U.S., much as the applause would be thunderous here in America if the airships were full of Russian soldiers, or even better, terrorist rebels!
The 3D experience is up there with the Imax 3D experience that had been around for years. We will now see smattering of 3D movies as Hollywood tries to milk the gimmick for all it’s worth. But just as in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s, this 3D phenomenon will be short lived, so don’t expect a special “glasses free” 3D TV anywhere near your living room for another 30 years, if ever. This movie, like any good movie or TV show, will stand up in 2D as well as in 3D.
I’m not fond of the $3 added cost per ticket to buy the 3D glasses that probably cost them a buck. They are not recycling these glasses like the Imax and theme park venues do. You go home with the worthless glasses after the movie ends. Do we really need multiple pairs of goofy 3D glasses gathering dust in our houses? Unless they are going to give me a $3 discount in the future for bringing my own 3D glasses to the theater, I want no part of this scam. I suppose you could reuse one single pair when the 3D DVD rental comes out this summer.
If you have a nice big HD TV, the DVD rental will still be a very enjoyable viewing experience.
- See it on "The Big Screen"
“Paranormal Activity” (R)
Your skin will crawl.
“Paranormal Activity” is not a Hollywood movie. It was shot in one week on a budget of $11,000. It’s a “Blair Witch” type of film, except this movie is far better.
A couple moves into a new home where strange noises start to occur. The woman reveals that she has had noises like these follow her wherever she lives since she was a child. The boyfriend buys a video camera to document the strange happenings, and to further study/solve the issue. It certainly CAN’T be ghosts. How silly to think it’s ghosts!
The woman is pretty sure it is something - like a ghost.
They bring in a psychic who tells them it’s not a ghost. It’s a demon. And demons are way out of his league.
Like “Blair Witch” there is a lot of camera shaking (it’s shot on a handheld home camera) but the disturbing parts happen when the camera is mounted in the bedroom, security mode style on a tripod whenever the couple sleeps. And this is the film’s strength.
“Jaws” affected us because it played on the fact that we can’t see what’s below us when swimming in the ocean. We’d rather not think about that stuff. If you think about it too much, the urge is to get out of the water.
This film plays on the fact that we don’t really know what happens in our bedrooms when we sleep. If the next morning a video revealed things happening around us while we slept, that would certainly freak us out. It might even make someone want to stay awake all night. You can’t simply run from the house because, as the girlfriend revealed from the start, this issue follows her wherever she goes! With that being the case, the boyfriend chooses to stay and fight.
This is not a movie you’d want to sit through multiple times (the pace is too slow and methodical for multiple viewings). However, the acting is realistic as the issue affects their relationship, and the creepy content will certainly make your hairs stand on end.
Note: When the film ends, the screen stays black for a long, long time, giving the audience a cue that there is more footage coming. It’s a fake tease as only credits await those that sit patiently in the dark. So look for the nearest exit and stumble your way out of the theater immediately.
- See it on "The Big Screen"
“Surrogates” (PG-13)
Bruce Willis stars as a detective who is trying to find out how people are dying while jacked into their personal surrogates in this latest sci-fi action thriller. The premise is not all that shabby and mirrors online sites like “Second Life,” but instead of animated avatars on a computer screen, the whole world uses expensive animatronic robots in the real world. People all around the world are so hooked on this that they no longer physically venture outside at all.
The claim is that racism is solved, and the crime rate dropped 99% after everyone went to surrogate use. Hmmm. Perhaps the writers forgot about how much fun Grand Theft Auto players have making their avatars rob, murder and otherwise and trash the entire city. Having no skin in the game turns people into real risk-takers.
Issues immediately pop up as you watch this film. To run your personal robot, you need to be laying down on a special chair with a pair of wired sunlamp googles over your eyes. (Willis sits upright more than most.) People are so sedentary while “driving” their personal surrogate through their daily routines that obesity would plague the world, if not terrible bed sores.
In one scene we see Willis’ Surrogate perform like a Terminator. He must own the upgraded G.I. Joe model with the kung-fu grip.
There are pockets of people who shun the idea of surrogates as an evil idea. They are put on reservations (slums) and look less healthy than the surrogate users who lay around all day and night. Odd.
The weapon that does the killing is pretty interesting, and other than an absurd Saturday morning cartoon of a car chase scene, this very dark story is engaging.
This is a leave your brain at home kind of action movie, but would make a great rental.
- Wait For DVD
“District 9” (R)
I wanted so badly to love this movie.
The theater was nearly sold out at the midnight sneak preview of “District 9” as we all sat, ready to be the first folks to see this intriguing alien movie before it opened nationally. Too many critics (who loved this film) have revealed too much about the story already. I won’t.
The movie covers (in a documentary style) the story of a group of space aliens, who find themselves stranded here (perhaps) and end up fenced into a sort of prison camp in Johannesburg (obvious apartheid parallel) by the humans. Twenty years later, the new plan is to relocate these aliens to a different camp further away from the local humans, who have grown tired of the animalistic alien antics. It would seem the two species are not compatible with each other. That’s an understatement of the highest order.
The new alien camp is in no way better than the current slum camp, but that’s not an issue for the humans who plan to use sly crafty maneuvering to get the creatures to agree to the move. It seems like an impossible task to the movie viewer from the onset, but what do we know.
The young theater crowd was into it as the house lights went down. We were ready to partake in this strange script, starless cast, and independent film budget. And then we waited, a full one and a half hours for the action to start. The movie takes its time laying out various loose ends, many of which are not tied up at the end. It would make a better book for sure.
Shaky cam aside, it’s not a bad movie. The plot turns will absolutely keep you guessing right up to the credits. But having seen it, I can see very clearly that this two-hour film is simply a set-up for a much better part 2 down the road. Can’t wait for that one.
When a movie is slow, it just allows more time to pick it apart. A couple pet peeves are in order:
We’re to believe just over a million human sized aliens came off that crippled ship. Dallas has just over a million people. I know the alien ship is pretty big, but why tell us a million folks were on it? Really? A million?
Chairs are designed to work for humans because our legs bend a certain way. Dogs can’t use our chairs as currently designed. Neither can giraffes or dolphins, and those animals are from our same planet. If a human gets behind the wheel of a friend’s car, they have to adjust a lot of things to make it work - and we’re the same species! These crazy alien creatures have legs that bend at wacky angles. You could never use their alien crazy legged chairs and devices, nor could they use ours - ever. The director doesn’t seem to understand that.
- Wait For DVD
“Public Enemies” (R)
The boring photo above pretty much sums up a lot of the shortcomings of this film about John Dillinger’s short, bloody crime spree, and Melvin Purvis, the FBI pursuer. The 140 minute run time feels like three hours. Strange for a Michael Mann film. Mann’s films are usually exciting. A man sitting in the row in front of me snored a few times as he went in and out of consciousness. I think a few folks in the theater were near that point as well.
One problem is that Melvin Purvis is played by Christian Bale. Bale’s a bore. He has exposed his true self with his growing list of films showing his lack of animation and monotonous scratchy whisper of a voice. His one trick pony career should be shortened because of it.
Johnny Depp, on the other hand, plays John Dillinger very well. Depp is the only thing that keeps the audience awake until the credits roll. People then quickly roll to the exits.
To add insult to injury, the film has all the facts wrong. Wrong jail breakouts, wrong characters breaking each other out. Gangsters (like Pretty Boy Floyd) dying in the wrong order. It’s one historical mess of a movie. Strangely, the truth might have been more exciting.
Couldn’t have hurt.
But regardless of whether you’ve ever read about these gangsters, you’ll likely find the film worthy of passing the time while digesting Thursday night’s dinner. But you won’t pay much mind to it after it’s over and you flip the channel to see who’s on Letterman.
- Wait For HBO
“Drag Me To Hell” PG-13
There are certain directors that have an irreverent style all their own. Love them or hate them, they usually stick to their fingerprint locked style forever.
The Cohen Brothers come to mind as having their own special mold. Their quirky movies stand apart from all others. David Cronenberg certainly has a few screws loose, as does Quentin Tarantino. And here we have Sam Raimi, a guy who was doing shock value, campy horror movies (by campy horror I mean hokey, not campy like “Friday the 13th”) twenty years before Tarantino started his career by shocking audiences.
Although most would instantly think of Raimi’s latest “Spider-Man” film releases, this is no comic book superhero franchise. While it’s been many years since he’s done horror, Raimi’s horror gene is already cast in stone. He can’t change.
To prepare yourself for any Raimi horror film you must recall these fine gems from his past:
“Evil Dead” (The first director in history to film a girl getting raped by a demonic tree. Really.)
“Evil Dead II”, etc.
“Army of Darkness”
If the preceding films disgusted you - move along, keep driving, there’s nothing to see here.
If these classic titles don’t ring a bell, perhaps you should rent one first before proceeding to the expensive theater.
If you enjoyed any of the titles above, and really, who among us could blame you, then this is another installment in Raimi horror film making.
In a nutshell, “Drag Me To Hell” follows a young loan officer Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) who desperately wants to get a big promotion at the bank. To show she’s manager material, she makes a tough call against an old grotesque gypsy woman who’s looking for a loan extension in order to keep her home. The old hag finally gets down and begs on her knees, but Christine will have none of it. Big mistake.
The old gypsy puts an evil curse on Christine. As curses go, it’s about as bad as you’ve seen in any movie. Turn up the curse level to ten, then break off the furry curse knob so you can crank the curse stem two notches higher with a pair of rusty pliers.
It’s gross at times (every 15 minutes) so skip the buttered popcorn and just sip on your Coke instead. You’ll likely never look at a housefly the same way again. The film is also needlessly loud, so skip the THX theater for this trip.
Her boyfriend, professor Clay Dalton (Justin Long), is as supportive as any guy could possibly be in the year 2009 when he hears someone has a curse put on them.
It must be made clear from the start that although the film is over the top campy, there are solid strong points to this movie that make it worth seeing.
1) Alison Lohman plays it straight. Although she’s got over a dozen movies under her belt, this is the first time I’ve seen one of them. She’s terrific in her role. With all the absurd demonic things going on around her on screen, she plays it just as a real woman would play it if it were happening for real. Amazing how well she stayed in character. This movie could easily have been a total stink bomb without her professional acting skills.
2) Although Raimi has been a fan of handheld cameras in the past, he uses a tripod throughout most of this film, giving it a very polished professional Hollywood look.
3) Justin Long plays it straight as well. He’s more likely to goof on what’s happening, but any guy in 2009 would goof in the same manner if faced with the ridiculous situations he faces.
Unfortunately you’ll see the “twist” of the ending a full 20 minutes before it happens, and Christine does something with a shovel toward the end that will have you rolling your eyes as well as pique the interest of the “Guinness Book of World Records” authors. However, if this is your kind of film, don’t let that stop you from seeing it. {It’s not quite scary enough to recommend a theater trip, (the PG-13 rating has a lot to do with that outcome)}.
- Wait For DVD
“Star Trek” (PG-13)
It’s been a while since we’ve been able to line up to see a new Star Trek film. Few people disliked the films staring William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy. Some fans fell by the wayside when new characters came into the series, such as the Patrick Stewart addition. I would include myself in that camp. Then there are the Trekies (or Trekers as they prefer to be called) who line up for anything with the words Star and Trek on the sign.
Writer/Producer J.J. Abrams got the nod to direct his first film, and he succeeds in delivering a stand out story in the long series. This latest 2009 “Star Trek” rides high into the summer blockbuster lineup. Because Abrams decided to go back in time to the roots of the franchise he was able to use an all new fresh young cast to explain how all the original characters came to be. We get to see how Dr. McCoy got the nickname “Bones” from Captain Kirk. Watching Captain Kirk develop from a young punk to a Star Fleet Captain is equally entertaining and enlightening.
Then there is the addition of Industrial Light & Magic’s latest movie visuals to ensure the space and planetary scenes are breathtakingly intense and realistic looking. There’s a lot to like in this film, and those that appreciate the original cast will equally enjoy the much younger version of them.
Just four small critical items to note:
1) The menacing music that plays whenever a Romulan ship is on screen is 60’s campy. Perhaps it was on purpose, but it was overdone and cheesy.
2) Uhura has a ridiculous connection with Spok that makes utterly zero sense.
3) There’s a Willy-Wonka Chocolate Factory style scene with clear water pipes that had no business in the film.
4) For some reason the director purposely has crazy “stylish?” camera lens glare on the screen during most scenes of the movie. You’ll notice colored streaks of glare and shiny lights reflecting off the camera lens as it bobs and weaves throughout the movie. Once you notice them they show up in nearly every scene. Directors avoid lens glare like the palgue - but not first-timer J.J. Abrams. Are these shiny room lights of the future? Overdone. Annoying as hell.
- See it on "The Big Screen"
“State of Play” (PG-13)
Russell Crowe stars as Cal McCaffrey, a veteran reporter for the Washington Globe. He’s the non-blogger guy in the room who most folks consider a dinosaur. But when “real” reporting needs to be done, Cal shows everyone why newspapers will be sadly missed when they’re inevitably gone.
After two people are killed and one is critically shot, Cal investigates a connection that no one else notices. One of the victims is a research assistant for a congressman, well played by Ben Affleck. It turns out the congressman was sleeping with the attractive woman who is now dead. Certainly little stretch there.
Cal and the congressman are not friends, but were roommates in their college days, so there’s obvious tension within that relationship. Robin Wright Penn plays the congressman’s wife (more tension) and Jeff Daniels plays another congressman (menacing tension).
But every Hollywood movie needs eye candy. Enter Della Frye (Rachel McAdams), as the Globe’s resident blogger. She’s a greenhorn who, for reasons she doesn’t initially understand, is suddenly taken under Cal’s veteran wing. They end up examining a connection with a corporate group called PointCorp (instead of using the too obvious Blackwater name) that hopes to take over America’s domestic surveillance bid and make billions in the process.
So it becomes a race to:
1) Uncover the truth behind the conspiracy.
2) Uncover the truth (boring) instead of running the easy (racy infidelity) side of the story which would sell infinitely more papers and save The Globe from extinction.
3) Do all this in time to make the morning edition before any other newspaper scoops it first.
4) Avoid getting killed by Blackwater-like villains who don’t want anyone to stand in the way of billions of dollars.
The film is actually quite entertaining and all the actors are first rate. Although not filmed entirely in shaky-cam mode, when any scene of two or more chatting characters comes up, the camera gets to bobbin’ and a weavin’ as if the cameraman’s private headphones are playing his favorite rhythmic gangsta rap. When will this amateur filming technique madness end?
Also note that the movie shows the Globe’s morning paper delivery trucks driving out of the warehouse with the sun rising off in the distance. Everyone over the age of eleven knows that newspapers are delivered in the wee hours of the night - long before homeowners get up to go to work at 6 AM.
- See it on "The Big Screen"
“Sin Nombre” (R)
A teenage girl from Honduras gets a chance to change her life by making a journey with her estranged father and uncle through Mexico and, they hope, illegally enter the United States. If they indeed make it, they’ll have a new life waiting for them with their extended family in New Jersey - but that’s a big if. It’s a tough trip and most don’t make it to the U.S. border, much less through it.
Then there’s a gang member named Casper who has a conscience (something his gang members lack) and he hides the fact that he has a non-gang-member girlfriend, which gets both of them into hot water with his gang brothers. Fleeing town is the only option.
This film gives deep insight into the struggles that face those who attempt the long 1,700 mile journey with little food, water or money. For most of the trip, the immigrants ride on top of fright trains, getting on and off to either change trains or avoid immigration officials. It’s a side of life most of us have never actually seen, even if we’ve imagined the journey some take, and makes for quite an interesting story to watch.
With ruthless Mexican gang members in pursuit, the tension is real. The bonds, both formed and lost, all have a realistic feel to them. “Sin Nombre” stars no one and feels more realistic because of it. It’s best if you don’t know any more specifics about this foreign film that recently debuted at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival. It’s worth a trip to the nearest trendy inner city theater where this movie is likely lurking until DVD release time.
(In Spanish with large, easy to read English subtitles)
- See it on "The Big Screen"
“Slumdog Millionaire” (R)
“Slumdog Millionaire” is the story of Jamal Malik, a young man from India who finds himself sitting on the Indian version of the game show “Who Wants to be a Millionaire.” He seems to be answering the questions very well indeed. But is he cheating? Is someone helping him? Is Jamal extremely smart or merely guessing his way through each multiple choice question? Will he really win the money - or will he lose all the money in the end and win his love interest instead? Or will he lose his love interest and only win the money, which is another lesson in itself?
Or, in a harsh Third World reality, will he tragically lose both?
This movie pulls no punches. In India, it’s usually one extreme or the other - with no middle possible. Hollywood happy endings are few and far between when watching foreign films.
This independent film (starring zero famous actors) is more complicated than you would think from the trailers and will surprise you with its powerful score and stunning visuals exposing the filthy underbelly of Third World India. We watch Jamal and his brother grow up as orphans in this unforgiving land, where one is either entrepreneuring and rich beyond their wildest dreams, or depressingly impoverished. The scenes of Indian slum life will depress you. It’s like viewing a live feed of a plane crash - fascinating stuff to watch from afar, and most folks will enjoy this fictional story as it unfolds. However, the film is not without its flaws.
I found the Taj Mahal scenes to be mighty far fetched. If India really does has zero control over this World Heritage site, as this story would have us believe, shame on everyone involved. Strange to have a crew from India even paint such a portrayal. In many overseas travels, I’ve never seen such loose controls on any historic site. Perhaps India is different. Let’s hope not.
Furthermore, the love story that drives the movie forward seems to be based more on puppy love than any solid love connection between Jamal and his supposed soul mate, Latika. But few films get everything 100% right. Even with its shortcomings, “Slumdog Millionaire” is a top notch foreign film.
(The film is in Indian-accented English with only three dozen or so subtitles when Hindi is spoken. For those that hate subtitles, don’t let the few subtitles dissuade you from seeing this film.)
- See it on "The Big Screen"
“Let the Right One In” (R)
From Sweden comes a vampire movie unlike any you have seen before. A twelve-year-old outcast is befriended by a twelve-year-old (maybe) neighbor girl, who the outcast immediately recognizes as “smelling funny” upon their first encounter. Much later he finds out she’s a vampire, but because of his initial kindness towards her, and because he’s the school nerd, both are drawn to each other.
The whole movie is not terrific, but there are a few terrific creepy scenes.
This is billed as a horror film, but it’s really just a dark character study without the horror you paid for. There’s plenty of blood here, but not horror. Foreign films are notoriously slower paced than Hollywood films, and this one plods along with a definite purpose, but at the speed of ice cubes melting. If you watch 20 minutes of this movie, you will be unable to turn it off without seeing how it turns out. The ending is a bit of a letdown, but overall, folks that consider themselves “people watchers” will enjoy seeing how Swedish folks and vampires tick.
(In Swedish with large, easy to read English subtitles.)
- Wait For DVD
“Burn After Reading” (R)
I’m a fan of Coen Brothers movies (Joel Coen & Ethan Coen). I enjoy most of their wacky scripts. For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s the list again:
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Blood Simple (1984)
Raising Arizona (1987)
Miller's Crossing (1990)
Barton Fink (1991)
The Hudsucker Proxy (1994)
Fargo (1996)
The Big Lebowski (1998)
O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)
The Man Who Wasn't There (2001)
“Burn After Reading” would rate as my least favorite from the brothers. It stars George Clooney, John Malkovich, Frances McDormand, Brad Pitt and Tilda Swinton. Brad Pitt is horribly miscast as a clueless clown in this strange meandering dim view of the world we live in. If Pitt didn’t have a rash of fine films behind him, you’d think his acting skills were no better than your neighbor’s across the street.
It doesn’t matter what the film is about. It’s a Coen Brothers movie. It’s wacky, just like all their other films. Unfortunately this story won’t keep you engrossed like the other nine movies listed above.
- Wait For HBO
“The Dark Knight” (PG-13)
This two-and-a-half-hour movie is aptly named, as it’s even darker than the Spider-Man movies of late. Most of the lighter lines are delivered by The Joker (played by the late Heath Ledger), but those lines are delivered during tense mobster scenes, therefore, consider this one dark from start to finish.
The film stars Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman.
This time Batman takes a backseat to the Joker’s performance, which allows you to sit through the entire film. There’s never been a better Joker. Batman’s really quite a bore here, and when in the Batman gear, he could be anybody. I believe they could change out the lead role of Batman with each release and no one would really care. If Batman had been killed in the first scene, and Morgan Freeman pulled on the cape and drove the bat-toys, the film would not have suffered one bit.
Regardless of whether you end up liking or loving this movie, it’s still too long.
Morgan Freeman is still the version of 007’s Cue, and gives Batman a few more toys, with the bat-cycle being by far the crowd favorite. The Bat-Toys, great steady cam filming, good scene locations, and the grand performance by Heath Ledger are the reasons this film is a winner.
- See it on "The Big Screen"
“Wanted” (R)
Here’s another example of a 2008 action movie that does NOT employ the use of the annoying “shaky cam” that has taken Hollywood by storm.
There is more action going on here than a human brain can keep up with, but that’s OK. Action is what the audience is looking for in “Wanted,” the Angelina Jolie movie where she kidnaps a wimpy “everyman” and turns him into a secret assassin with special talents. Morgan Freeman heads up the secret group in his usual cucumber cool style, but it’s Jolie who keeps the audience engaged.
James McAvoy stars as the recruit. He got the first half of the movie right (wimpy) but I never really bought into his transformation. He’s like a Tobey Maguire “lite,” and that’s no compliment. There are enough car chase scenes, fighting scenes, sex scenes, and blood and gore to satisfy a whole football team of adrenalin junkies, and the special effects look good. There is also some “Matrix” spice tossed into the mix, along with plot twists and turns that are better left quiet until you see it.
They could have gone for a PG-13 rating, and scored fifty million dollars more at the box office. Instead, they pulled few punches and went for the full “R” rating instead. You know if this is for you or not.
- See it on "The Big Screen"
“The Incredible Hulk” (PG-13)
Edward Norton takes over the role in a whole new Hulk series. The better comic book movie of 2008 is certainly “Iron Man,” but this Hulk will suffice if you’re in the mood for an action picture.
We all know the story - don’t make this guy mad, because you won’t like him when he’s mad. First his eyes turn green, then his skin, then he becomes a massively strong human monster who, conveniently, can still wear his pants. His gamma induced anger issues makes for both great TV shows and movies, but this one’s not without its hulk-like flaws. That’s mighty unfortunate, because when we start this film, set in Rio de Janeiro, the story is really quite strong.
The film’s shortcomings can be summed up in one sentence:
This movie doesn’t know if it wants to be “King Kong” (with Liv Tyler as the love interest), “Transformers” with big CG monsters fighting recklessly in our world, or WWF, with silly fake fighting moves, minus a ring with the trampoline floor and fake referee.
Whenever we see multiple giant, city smashing monsters fighting one another (this film has two), we think of old Japanese flicks. Hollywood should know better than to tread on that tired turf. Anything more than one green Hulk on the screen at any given time is overkill and unnecessary. And certainly after seeing this Hulk unscathed by grenades, large caliber machine gun fire, and fireballs of falling military hardware, why oh why would we need a silly scene of the Hulk standing up and bumping his head on the top of a cave, AND IT HURTS HIM! The director should be heavily fined for that boner.
Tim Roth, though scrawny, makes a decent bad guy, but William Hurt is nothing more than a cardboard cutout of a menacing man. Strange casting indeed.
- Wait For DVD
“Iron Man” (PG-13)
Robert Downey Jr. soars as “Iron Man,” the latest superhero to hit the silver screen.
Let’s get this out of the way early on - this is a summer blockbuster - before summer even begins. And strangely, the theater was less than half full.
Where is everybody?
The movie plays it straight, with Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) as a grown up M.I.T. wiz kid, who now runs (and obviously profits wildly) a military hardware company. The writing is top notch, and the lines delivered perfectly by the entire professional cast.
Tony’s version of “The Butler” (all superheroes need a butler) is an assistant named Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow). I suppose they made Gwyneth dye her hair red to keep up the tested formula of the “Spider-Man” franchise. And in keeping with the “Spider-Man” route, Paltrow is the least hot woman in the film. But she can act, which is more than we can say for Kirsten Dunst.
Jeff Bridges plays the partner in the military firm. It takes you a while to recognize him, but he always nails his roles.
Terrence Howard plays the high ranking sidekick military officer. I’m afraid we’ll see more of him in the sequel, for a “Lethal Weapon” buddy style movie. That will surely suck, but might be a hit with the kids that don’t remember, or are not yet tired of the 14 “Lethal Weapon” movies.
But this one doesn’t suck. I’m not going to spoil the surprises here, but it’s one for young and old alike, with plenty of explosions, high tech realistic weaponry, and sharp lines throughout. You won’t want it to end, but as it does, there are a few bad lines (delivered by Paltrow) that don’t belong in this otherwise well written movie. The film ends rather abruptly, but this is definitely one to see in a half full theater.
- See it on "The Big Screen"
“Forgetting Sarah Marshall” (R)
From the makers of “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” and “Knocked Up” comes an adult comedy starring Jason Segel as a lazy studio musician guy who gets dumped by his famous actress girlfriend. Kristen Bell stars as the bitchy actress who does the dumping. Russell Brand (the British stand up comedian - see YouTube for performances) stars as the crazy live performing Brit musician who is now dating the bitchy actress in Hawaii. Mila Kunis (“That 70’s Show”) stars as the Hawaiian hotel hottie who tries to help out the heartbroken studio musician who arrives to find his ex-girlfriend at the very same hotel with her new wild musician boyfriend in tow.
Let the hijinks begin! There are plenty of other zany characters to fill out the scenes as well - kind of.
This is a very uneven “R” rated movie in the same way that a 90 minute SNL show has peaks and often very low valleys of humor and taste. It doesn’t flow evenly as movies should, which I found a bit off-putting. It certainly earns its “R” rating, so prepare for face cringing scenes, flagrant sex chat and visual sexual activity.
This is not to say the movie is not worth seeing, but certainly before you feel like turning it off due to the raunchy (and sometimes tough to sit through) first half, rest assured that the second half saves the movie. The film does have a heart, and it’s in the right place. The second half also has some very funny and frank scenes of people confronting their demons.
So if you start it, be sure to finish it - so you won’t be left with that awful first half taste in your mouth.
- Wait For DVD
“Vantage Point” (PG-13)
If you ever wanted to see a sequel to the 1993 movie “Groundhog Day” starring Bill Murray, here it is. Unfortunately, that’s not what the makers of “Vantage Point” would like you to take away from this film.
Dennis Quaid stars as a Secret Service agent who only months before, took a bullet or two for the President of the United States during an assassination attempt. Fast forward to the present (more on fast forward/rewind later) and we see Mr. Quaid is again on detail as the President (played by William Hurt) travels in his motorcade through the streets of Spain in order to speak at an outdoor venue for the world conference on terrorism. Of course as he starts to speak at the podium, the President is shot.
If you’ve seen the trailer for this film, you already know too much. Hollywood manages to bungle the release of this film by ruining the secret, just as they did with “Terminator II,” where they showed Arnold as a good terminator long before we had the chance to view the movie and find that out for ourselves.
But it matters not. As soon as we watch the assassination, and the bomb blasts that follow, we are tortured into boredom by being forced to watch the same exact scenes over, and over, and over at different angles by different people. If it sounds interesting, believe me it’s not.
First of all, we start by watching Sigourney Weaver in a remote location TV station trailer directing the cameras covering the speech. Those of us who have been alive for more than a dozen years have seen professional news coverage of tragic events. Professional news people do not lose it when the poop hits the fan, they rise to the occasion. News folks wait their entire careers for the opportunity to cover hot events.
Here, everybody loses it. Only in Hollywood.
Forest Whitaker plays the “regular guy with a home HD video camera” that just happens to be in the crowd. So of course we have to literally rewind the movie to start it over again to see the issue from his prospective. Then again from that guy’s perspective. Then again from their perspective.
Since the director knows this will quickly become tiresome for the viewers, he fast forwards the movie to the present and tosses in a car chase scene. That always seems to rouse up the audience. But this scene is too absurd, with sub compact cars being t-boned by trucks, but the cars keep on going, apparently unscathed by the physics at hand. Volvo engineers would be impressed.
Then there is the perfect storm of:
A) The terrorists planning this miracle to the very second, along with numerous absurd coincidences, all without anything going wrong.
B) Dennis Quaid’s character being at the right place at the right time, all the time, and possessing the abilities of Superman to survive the laughable car chase.
C) Fat Forest Whitaker running like Forrest Gump, able to outwit and outlast his Survivor friends as they run, run, run through the streets of Spain after a suspect, or little girl, or whatever.
This movie will have you saying, “Stop this terrible ride, I want to get off.”
- Wait For HBO
“U2 3D” (G)
As with all 3D movies, goofy glasses are necessary. They are no longer the red and blue lenses of yesteryear, but now complex polarized lenses encased in thick plastic, so they are not something you’d want to smuggle home to wear later. This may have been the only time that Bono wasn’t wearing the goofiest looking glasses in the room.
None of the U2 band members work up much of a sweat during a concert. I suppose their laundry roadie is appreciative. But the performance includes a good list of U2 favorites and will satisfy anyone who likes U2 radio hits.
From the first song, the Imax theater audience is brought so close to the stage and with such reality, everyone has the strong urge to applaud after a song finishes, as if it’s a real live show. Some folks did clap after most songs. True fans are like that.
I will say that seeing a rock concert at an Imax theater (before midnight) is a pretty sure way to assure you won’t be sitting next to a drunk or obnoxious pinhead. Nor will the couple in front of you stand up for the whole concert. This is a strong reason to recommend "U2 3D," perhaps because I’ve become too old to appreciate the madness that goes with attending a live rock show. But somehow I think a lot of folks, both young and old, have lost patience with pinheads.
The Technical Side:
Bright lights (spotlights hitting the camera lens) become distorted and annoying. It would seem the producers didn’t realize the 3D flaw as they filmed, as it happened quite a bit throughout the film. It’s also worth mentioning that (supposedly) hard cuts are not possible with current 3D technology, so some sort of dissolve needs to occur between camera shots. This goes a long way to explaining the amateurish sloppy transitions we see throughout the show. However, I do remember seeing some hard cuts as well, so I’m not sure how solid that 3D editing theory is.
Those with sharp eyes will also notice that the concert was filmed over multiple nights with the best shots used for the film. Although the band obviously wore the same clothes each night, mixing the multiple nights worth of shots leads to continuity errors. In one shot Bono is singing with the microphone sitting in the mic stand, but the next camera angle shows him holding the microphone, then a split second later the camera angle again changes and the microphone has magically jumped back into the stand again. This is inevitable when using footage of human beings from different nights but it still bothered me. There are also times when one camera angle reveals the previous camera is not really there to film the previous shot.
After I got home and investigated further, it turns out, “ . . .the band agreed to do 10 songs in [an arena] without an audience,” thus allowing the close up shots. This would keep the large 3D cameras from interfering with the live show, which would have blocked the sight of the audience. Such “trickery” is to be accepted as it kept the paying live audience from watching large cameras instead of the band.
The performances were from:
Mexico City - Medium length shots.
Sao Paula, Brazil’s Morumbi Stadium - More mid-distance shots.
Santiago, Chile’s Estadio Nacional - Single overhead cameras.
Buenos Aires, River Plate Stadium - Pre-show, no audience, close up footage.
Argentina - Long shots.
That’s what you’d call an “editor’s nightmare.”
Back to the Show:
Bono can’t help but to preach in his usual manner, three or four times during the concert. Although we’re all used to him using his stage time to try to save the world (see also “Rambo” for the futility in that), the overuse of 3D “in your face” snazzy bold text, literally floating in front of your nose as you attempt to watch one of the later encore songs, gets old quick. Worse yet, the use of poor footage that most editors would have cut from the film was odd at best. It wasn’t the crazed footage of the 70’s where you saw every image except the band on stage, but they still don’t understand that showing us a shot for a full 10 seconds is not a bad thing. There is no reason to snap from one image to another every 3 seconds to make us enjoy a concert.
There are only a requisite handful of guitar and microphone shots where they poke at the camera toward your face, in the tired, “Look, it’s 3D!” effect. Although it’s the best technology yet for 3D, I still don’t believe 3D will ever be needed in home theaters any more than Smell-o-Vision will be necessary.
Still I’m recommending, “U2 3D.” To witness these Central, South American and Brazilian audiences moving as one as they jump by the thousands in time with the music, like hypnotic bees in a hive, and singing along with the U2 lyrics as if the tunes were national songs, it’s easy to see why Bono is moved into thinking we are all one under the Sun. It’s an experience worth witnessing if U2 is palatable to your ears.
It’s is also worth noting that the Baltimore Science Center has kept the sound level of this concert film at a family friendly volume. The concert effect would be better if the sound were cranked up, but that’s not the case here.
(Note - 85 minutes long.)
- See it on "The Big Screen" (Imax BIG!)
“Rambo” (R)
Let me just start by saying the critics are wrong about this latest in the “Rambo” series.
When thinking back to the first “Rambo” movie, and the follow up, “First Blood” etc. it wasn’t the first rate Academy Award winning acting that we were after when cueing up for these films. Those that dig the John Rambo genre of movies go for the raw revenge and bloodletting action. The latest 2008 version of “Rambo” delivers perhaps the most realistic depiction of warfare since the brutal beach landing scene in Spielberg’s “Saving Private Ryan.”
Rambo is now an older, though still introverted, snake catcher, now living in peaceful Northern Thailand. Burma (now calling itself Myanmar, to throw people off track) is the truly hellish country that lies a few miles north by river. When a group of missionaries try to hire Rambo to take them on his boat to the poor brutalized Burmese people up river, so they can deliver much needed medical supplies and food, Rambo scoffs at their naive death wish. He also tells them they can change nothing by going there. Oh, how true that is.
(This film is played straight. Rambo only has ten lines or so of dialogue in the entire move, none of which are “Arnold” style zingers. Ten lines, if you don't count the line, "Go!" which he says half a dozen times.)
But the single attractive woman in the group (in one of the weakest written if not weakest acted scenes of the entire movie) tries to persuade Rambo to “do the right thing.” It’s here, in my opinion, where the critics suddenly came to the final conclusion that:
A) Stallone can’t write good movie dialogue other than, “Adrian!”
B) Stallone can’t act.
C) His supporting cast can’t act either.
I must admit I too was moaning at the start of this picture. It looked like something that should have gone straight to video. And let me reveal here that I was sitting in a sold out THX equipped theater in Annapolis, Maryland, with 50% of the seats taken up by Annapolis naval cadets in full uniform. 10-15 minutes after the pathetic scene of begging Rambo to take them into hell itself, Rambo savagely saves their collective skins in a horrific and awe inspiring way that not only kicked the THX theater speakers in the ass, but brought both soldier boy and high school teen to thunderous shouting and applauding as if their underdog team had just stolen the Super Bowl.
But this was just a warm up, to let both the wimpy missionaries as well as the theater audience know, if you want to continue this ride, you’d better buckle your f***i’n seat belts. This movie will end up playing monthly on the TV series, “Movies For Guys That Love Movies.” Alas, it will be cut to hell on TV.
Here, Sylvester Stallone (who also directed the picture) spares no expense to graphically show the damage inflicted by mines and mortar rounds, as well as people, both soldiers and civilians, being literally cut down or in half by modern machine gun fire. It’s ugly, and it’s the focus of many poor reviews by the stuffed shirts that reviewed the premiere of the film. Other counties show the graphic horrors of murderous crimes and war images to their civilian populations on TV newscasts. It’s high time for American audiences to be exposed to the same truths. War is ugly. See it for what it is. Only the U.S. sugar coats news images like the cereals our kids eat.
Face it, people go to a Streisand concert to feel chipper and perhaps have a good cry. Guys flip on a good Rambo movie to watch a good ass whoopin’ with no scenes cut for a wimpy audience.
The sole reason this move did not receive the dreaded NC-17 rating is because the ratings board was told to keep in mind that this latest “Rambo” movie (loosely) exposes the horrors of the Burmese government and the atrocities they commit. Any retaliation inflicted by Rambo and his band of do-gooders is for the good of the world. I'm frankly surprised this tactic worked, but it certainly green-lighted a very graphic R-rated war movie.
To give Stallone credit, had this been a Rob Zombie movie, it would have totally sucked AND been unwatchable. Kudos to Stallone for pulling off this film of horror.
This is certainly no “date movie,” but for the right crowd, it MUST be seen in a theater with the best sound system you can find. In real life, bombs, artillery and machine guns rattle your insides. At a professional theater, this movie does just that. It’s here I’d again like to mention it’s playing in THX at the Annapolis Mall theater.
Kudos go to Stallone for pulling no punches. No apology necessary.
- See it on "The Big Screen"
“The Mist” (R)
Stephen King spawns another horror film that again, only partially works.
The movie stars no one really famous, but it’s chock full of whiny, irritating people, most of whom are not very bright either. Hours after a terrible storm hits the small town in Maine, the residents notice a mist rolling into the neighborhood. Much like the movie “The Fog,” we’re pretty sure there’s something hidden within the sinister looking mist. What’s hidden in this mist is much more menacing than the ghostly captain hook killers of “The Fog.” The mist is indeed the real deal for a good monster movie. It’s the humans that bring the film down.
A cross section of residents group together in the supermarket and together squabble and sometimes work toward a solution to their problems. You’ve got your religious nuts ranting about the end of the world, and the outsiders who don’t trust any of the locals. And others who are just as stupid as the canned cling peaches sitting on the nearby shelves.
Luckily for us, quite a few dumb folks get horribly and rightfully killed one by one, so that, to me, would be the biggest payoff of watching this video quality release.
Note: Remember - for a better viewing experience, root for the mist to kill the jokers!
- Wait For DVD